Relationships are complicated and wonderful at the same time. Not surprisingly, things do become problematic on occasion. Someone anonymously provided the following advice about relationship management:
The first to apologise is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest.
What true but difficult advice to follow, but well worth the effort.
For me, apologising is awkward, which is why being brave is so essential. Saying “Sorry” does not come easy or frequently enough. However, I have learned that being first to be sincerely regretful is remedial and constructive.
Forgiving is often the other side of the apologising sequence. Accepting the “Sorry” often resets the relationship on a more positive footing. However, what about those times when there is no apology: is forgiveness unnecessary? That is where being strong and turning the other cheek comes into play. Being first to forgive others quickens your healing and recovery. Put in the negative:
Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.*
Then there is forgetting. Truly letting go of a past misdeed is not easy, but the alternative only makes the poison more toxic. In the best of all circumstances, the Apologise-Forgive-Forget cycle can be completed and the healing process settled. When that is not going to happen, forgetting is the happiest outcome. Sometimes for good reasons, when forgiveness is not an option, then forgetting and letting go is that much more urgent. Unfortunately, bitterness is often the alternative to forgetting; and bitterness is the less happy place to be. Being first to forget neutralizes the poison of past transgressions.
Being first to apologise, forgive and forget will make your relationships braver, stronger and happier.
Reflection Source: www.Smallercup.org
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Physically distance, never socially distance.
*: Marianne Williamson