How many times have you heard someone say, “It not fair!”? It seems that when things do not go our way in life, we often decide that life is not fair, and biased against us.
But what does “fair” mean? When we toss a coin it has a 50/50 chance of being a head or a tail. An equal chance. But is it possible to get equal chances at everything in life? If you work diligently, should you always get what you are aiming for?
Is life itself fair? We all face challenges and setbacks. Others do not always play by our perception of the rules, and we do not always get equitable treatment. No one is promised a life without impediments. But isn’t that what makes life ‘real’ and a continuous learning journey? Why would one be ambitious and hopeful if life was a done deal and your success guaranteed? Where would the excitement and challenges that make life a rewarding experience come from? How would a human being develop character without hardship and struggles? How would a human being develop empathy without suffering? Some unfairness builds stamina and resilience.
Without too much effort, I can identify a dozen or more significant “unfairnesses” in my life. But I would NEVER describe my life as being other than enormously blessed. Why is this so?
Because I am an accountant, by nature and inclination, I look at fairness as a measurement issue. Depending on how and what you measure to define fairness makes all the difference. It is not by accident that this blog is called “Smallercup”. This name suggests that if you calibrate fairness based on the relative fullness of your cup, you can feel very blessed or cursed without a change in your circumstances. If you choose to feel grateful, focused on your ambitions but realistic in what you want, your life will be most bountiful. A smaller cup makes your win/loss ratio about 75/25 because you set yourself up for greater success and joy.
Rather than framing life through an ‘unfair vs fair’ framework, look out for the good things that regularly come your way. It is amazing how your outlook can change if you are prepared to acknowledge the good fortune that frequently comes your way. Carefully consider whether your definition and calibration of fairness is constructive and useful. Just by being more mindfully grateful your personal sense of fairness will materially improve. And this gives you the energy and motivation to make others’ lives fairer.
Physically distance (when required or helpful), never socially distance.
Reflection Source: www.Smallercup.org
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