EXPERIMENTING AND FAILING

There is a common view that “If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it”.  This is a safe and convenient strategy, but one that doesn’t work well for me.  How about this a corollary, “If it isn’t broken, break it.”  When I see something functioning properly it instinctively encourages me to wonder why and how this is so.  What curious quirk or feature is this application taking advantage of?  Why does this work so well, and where else could this idea be applied?

Thomas Edison noted, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” 

Albert Einstein similarly stated, “Make mistakes.  A person who never made a mistake never did anything new.” 

There is no shortage of famous people who talk about how experimenting with life was the key to their success.

Breaking things to see if they can be made better is all about experimenting and failure and learning.  Mixing a cocktail of HOW, WHY, FAILURE and WONDER into our daily routines is actively being in the present moment.  Examining the sequence of steps to do a task and challenging them in terms of whether each one is essential, could be re-ordered or re- arranged can lead to enlightenment.  If it does not work, you learned something and may have to break it differently. Curiously, as you carefully examine the task, not only can you improve its efficiency, but a sense of ownership can increase.

If you look at the lives of successful people or listen to their sage advice, almost without exception they talk about their failures, setbacks and disappointments.  But they keep on experimenting and learning from their mistakes.  They kept on setting challenging but attainable goals and expect failures along the way. Failing makes success sweeter.  Whether the experiment works or not, these are both occasions for awe if you allow for learning and growth.

Go and break, or at least tinker with, one of your rituals, and experiment with how you might make it new and different.

 Please be kind, patient and thoughtful to your partner and others.

Reflection Source: www.Smallercup.org

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TELESCOPE OR MICROSCOPE?

Are you viewing life through a telescope of wonder and promise?  Or are you viewing life through a microscope of what is missing and remiss?  Are you looking upwards with awe and amazement or looking inward with disappointment and longing? 

When I look upwards, whether at the moon, clouds, blue sky or that distant hill it usually inspires me about the awesomeness of my surroundings and good fortune.  Pleasure and joy are the more frequent emotions.  When I look forward, I do see beauty but also walls, traffic, and other obstacles. I feel grounded and grateful for my bounty. When I look down, I too often see litter, cracks in the sidewalk and don’t feel especially positive.  And when I start looking inward what I see too often is what is missing, not what is there.

It is essential to be mindful of your circumstances and challenges, and to have compassion for those that are less blessed. These microscopic perspectives on your present moment keep you grounded and real.  But does this depict the present moment as an opportunity full of promise or just more of the same-old same-old?  Being introspective or retrospective limits the possible perspective of looking upward at a richer now.

Telescoping upward in your present moment opens wonder.  Have you ever looked at the moon on a clear night, or a view of a distant mountain, or a seascape and felt disappointment?  Yet when you microscope inward do your spirits generally improve?  Yes, please ponder who you are, where you are at and mystery of life.  But spend at least as much time looking up at all the beauty around and above you.

Given a choice of whether to use a microscope or a telescope to look for what is and isn’t there, give me the telescope any time.  What is beyond is infinite and limitless, whereas what is within is finite and limited. Do spend more time looking upwards: there is a lot out there that is outside our imaginations.

  Please be kind, patient and thoughtful to your partner and others.

Reflection Source: www.Smallercup.org

Please freely share and widely, there are no copyright concerns.

The If and When Myth

“I will be happy IF” … “I will be happy WHEN” doesn’t work or happen.  You get the desired outcome, have elevated spirits for a few weeks, months or at best a few years and then you are right back to where you were earlier. 

This natural occurrence of returning to your natural set point of wellness is called the hedonistic treadmill or hedonistic adaption.  We are like the hamster on the treadmill running quickly but getting nowhere, stuck. Changes in circumstance have a short term pay-off and then this new situation becomes the new normal.  The adaption makes you inclined to aspire for new achievements which then undermines the joy of the current achievement.  And then comparison sets in, and we see others with more or better or newer rewards and we are back to square one.

For me, appreciating and observing this adaption process countless times tamed the shopper in me and changed me.  Now I savour a few very special and thoughtful gifts, experiences or purchases and regularly just pause to be so grateful for those blessings. A multi-function travel watch, blue tooth headphones that meet my unique needs, Bolivia, colourful sandals that can go anywhere; these are special things that ring my well-being bell.

Experiment with your IF and WHEN expectations for well-being.  How long did your joy persist? Have you already replaced that desire with a new or more lavish wish?  If that IF or WHEN had not happened, would you really be any less pleased?

Letting go of IF and WHEN is most liberating as it puts one into the present moment where there is no IF or WHEN, only now.  Not wanting or waiting for something to happen to be achieved or owned means you have enough, and perhaps even a surplus.  Practice savouring things with serenity, re-thanking others for their awesome gifts, or remembering/sharing those powerful memories and milestones but again.  Sure, it is fine to want an IF or WHEN once in the while, but not always or to the determinant of what you already are blessed with.  Wonderfully, gratitude will improve your spirits and defeat the treadmill. 

Reflection Source: www.Smallercup.org

Please freely share and widely, there are no copyright concerns.

For further reading, if you are interested just Google “Hedonistic treadmill”]; there is no shortage of sources for further insights here.

MOVING FROM SUCCESS TO SIGNIFICANCE

Alan Watts made a very pertinent observation, being

“No valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now.”

Well said. Many people during their working life imagine that at retirement everything will suddenly become uplifting and awesome.  As a result, they often under-utilize or under-appreciate their pre-retirement life.  Others put their life on hold (especially while raising their children), believing or hoping that something amazing is going to occur at retirement, and then pleasure and purpose will be released.

Bob Buford wrote an insightful book on how to approach retirement called Halftime, Moving from Success to Significance. Bob’s underlying premise is that a satisfying retirement is about finding a purpose that speaks to you and dedicating yourself to that objective, preferable before retirement. He noted that much of the first half of your life and career is about seeking success and achievement.  However, those milestones and successes lose their glory and motivating rewards.   Without a sense of significance, success can become hollow.   Peter Drucker noted that: “Efficiency is doing things right. Effectiveness is doing the right things.” 

Taking Alan’s, Bob’s, and Peter’s observations collectively, there is one common theme.  The sooner one finds a purpose, something that really speaks to you in the present moment, the sooner a more purposeful life, living, and wellness can begin.  Three of the five parts of the PERMA wellness framework relate to this idea.  Engagement, meaning and achievement all contribute to improved wellness and can be synergized by an increased sense of life being lived for a purpose. Please note, this purpose likely is not career or employment related, but may utilize some of your work skills, but in unique and curious ways.

Live in the now with a sense of purpose. This will launch your mission to be purposeful well before you retire, making your pre and post retirement life better.  And better still, if that purpose agenda really comes to life, being employed, and retired can occur at the same time. 

Please be kind, patient and thoughtful to your partner and others.

Reflection Source: www.Smallercup.org

Please freely share and widely, there are no copyright concerns.