Recently a colleague (Roger) explained and justified his positive disposition, even in challenging times. He said quite simply,
Others are my mirror.
His perspective was that if he was down or anxious, those close to him might feel and respond to him with similar emotions, like for like. Similarly, if he was hopeful, positive and enthusiastic, then his excitement would spread. Using the idea of a mirror, what he projected was likely to be what others felt and that would then be reflected back to him.
Our external disposition is contagious, both for good and for ill. There is strong research evidence** that emotions or actions are contagious. How often have you yawned and then others near you have done the same? Taking mindful ownership of the attitudes you are expressing can improve the wellness of those around you. Enthusiasm lifts the spirits of a room: once you decide to act with a positive attitude, it does not take much effort for those around you to follow your example.
Whereas our external or public self may be joyful, it is essential to ensure that your internal or private self lines up with the image you are projecting. It may take some internal combustion and resilience; a ‘fake it till you make it’ to jump start the positive cycle, but it does work. Our private self is deeper and more complex than the public self, mirroring years of experience which our momentary external expressions cannot always capture. It may be less joyful, but that is replaced with being hopeful and patient. Our past experiences and growth can make what others see more authentic if you are coming from the right place.
As others are your mirror, consider carefully what image you project. Is that the “you” you want others to see and remember you by? Make your reflection work to the advantage of others (and yourself).
Reflection Source: www.Smallercup.org
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*: Thank you, Roger Lin, for this wonderful quote, idea, example and your positive attitude
**: Hatfield, Elaine; Cacioppo, John T.; Rapson, Richard L. (June 1993). "Emotional contagion". Current Directions in Psychological Science. 2 (3): 96–9