There is a dilemma and contradiction we all encounter when we judge ourselves or others. When it comes to ourselves, we know what our intentions are and evaluate our actions using our internal moral compass based on our intentions. However, for others, as we can only see their actions, we judge them by these actions and largely overlook their intentions.
This implicit unfair bias has troubling consequences. We imagine ourselves to be highly proper, fair minded citizens based on our noble intentions (and often poor execution thereof). However, when someone trespasses against us, we act as judge and jury and sub-consciously convict that person and their actions as untoward. Too often we infer the wrong intention and mis-judge the impact of the action. Where is the balance of justice and fairness in this contraction? Obviously it is missing.
Where do you go from this puzzle? The quickest but often hardest solution is to become less judgemental and let go of the process of critiquing others. What a joy and relief it is to just be and let others be also. Following on this line, the principle that ‘what goes around, comes around’ applies to you. If you judge others less often or harshly, you can reasonably expect that you will be treated similarly.
You should fully appreciate that the measures you use to judge others should be used to judge you, complete with the mis-perceptions natural to the fact that you are not the actor of the action. It may not always work out that way, but it certainly can make your life a lot kinder and less tense.
When the actions of others impact on us, it is a good strategy to frame their intentions as coming from a good and wholesome place. Most likely that person meant no harm, and the worst case is that they were careless (but not thoughtless or vicious).
Note, I am not suggesting that actions do not matter, because they absolutely do! Rather, judge less, judge as you wish to be judged, do more good, subtly appreciate the impossibility of fairly evaluating others, and assume the best of others.
I do believe ultimately, we are our intentions, things just get lost in translation.
Reflection Source: www.Smallercup.org
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