How you start a conversation with a friend or stranger can significantly influence how pleasing the interaction is.  “Hello” or the like works okay and no one takes exception, but you can do better, once the first introductions are over.  What if you start that encounter on a positive, engaging and sincerely interested tone? Chances are the chat will be more joyful and insightful.

My preferred way to set the tone of a conversation with a friend is to sincerely ask:  “What good things are happening to you?” hoping that they answer this question thoughtfully and happily.  If they are reluctant to share initially, then I respectfully pry a bit until something joyful emerges.   I listen for clues so we can have a pleasurable tête-à-tête about the blessing in their life.  Rather than hearing about the rain or traffic delays, you hear about vacations, achievements, friendships, or other joys. 

Another similar question to set the tone is to ask:  “What is going well today?” or “What went well?”   Sure enough, something is going well.  People love to discuss their success, and it is wonderful and inspiring to learn about their wins.  Quickly, they overcome their modesty and share their better moments and achievements.  

Years ago, a colleague taught me a wonderful introduction to a total stranger, such as a taxi driver or shop clerk when you need help.  He acknowledged the person as”  “Hello my friend”.  This introduction generally set the tone of the exchange on a positive and equal footing.  Additionally, the assistance you get is so much kinder and personable.  People in the service sector are less used to being treated in a friendly manner and appreciate the respect you bestow on them.  And it cost you nothing!

Trying to start conversations in a more positive framework causes you and others to frame their moments and days through a more grateful prism.  This will make for more enjoyable moments and conversations.

Reflection Source:  www.Smallercup.org

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