One of the more prized dimensions of well-being is being confident; to be assured of one’s self but not overbearing.  There are at least two strategies to be confident: one based on results/achievements and the other based on effort.  Let me use a university student’s learning approach to a final exam as an example. 

The results oriented learner is convinced that a high final grade is all that matters and crams the course material with a determination that s/he must know everything, even the obscure topics, and be quick, precise and efficient in delivering their expertise on the final exam. Whereas they have no control over the exam, their solution to this dilemma is to stress themselves out, re-double their revision exercises and stand anxiously outside the examination hall.  When the actual exam occurs they are lacking in confidence.  Privately they know that being confident is essential yet much of what they do it anti-self-confidence enhancing. 

The effort oriented learner uses a totally different approach.  They start by planning a strategy of what needs to be done, assessing their strengths and weaknesses, doing useful learning tasks, and putting in concerted effort and attention.  The different is that the effort approach believes that if one gives their best, honest effort than one should have confidence that the results will speak for themselves.  The effortful person knows that they have complete control over their effort and have confidence in their preparation process.  They let go of the results and focus on their effort.  If things go well or if the results are disappointing, they say “live and learn”.  Curiously, such individuals over time mature their self-assurance, as they learn how to use their effort to improve their achievements.

Imagine you have a job interview, new customer, potential relationship partner, driving test, a project or whatever you want to do well.  In all these cases, confidence will have a significant impact on the outcome.  You can focus on the actual achievement or you can dwell on giving your best effort.  Guaranteed that focusing on your effort, which you have complete control over, will reward you much more than fixating on what will be the actual result.

As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right”.  Investing and believing in your effort will boost your confidence and likely lead to better results.  Striving to be the best person you can reasonably be based on your best efforts will build up your self-confidence and well-being.  Dwelling too much on results will more than likely undermine your mindfulness, wellness and actual achievement.

Reflection Source: www.Smallercup.org

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