Can we really do two or more MEANINGFUL things at the same time? Try it out!  Can we engage in a purposeful conversation with a friend, and do a second important task like plan for tomorrow? Or solve two challenging tasks at the same time?  NO, doing two significant things properly at once is an impossibility.  More likely the results will be doing less well on both the tasks you are engaged in.

Somewhere in the past twenty years the word and notion of multi-tasking has developed a fame of its own.  People would proudly state that they were expert multi-taskers and the more tasks we could manage at once the more capable and employable we were.  More recently the tide of thinking is changing and questioning this earlier wisdom.  Should we be allowed to drive and talk on our cellphones?  Is walking about and playing games on our phone a good idea?

Neuroscience shows clearly that the brain cannot actually do two things at the same time and in fact it can be harmful.  Rather our mind goes back and forth between the different tasks and is not concentrating or thinking deeply on either.  It is on a stressed and unhappy automatic pilot.  Yes, we can walk, talk and chew gum at the same time, and that is the point. None of these tasks are difficult, important or dangerous.

Multi-tasking is also harmful to our well-being, especially as it relates to listening within conversations.  Listening is one of the most essential ingredients in a positive relationship, but are we actually listening or just pretending to?  Are we multi-tasking?  Paying careful attention and being mindful is difficult, and it is the opposite of multi-tasking.  Mindfulness requires us to be there for that person and what they are saying.  Often the level of our attention is a measure of the importance of the conversation and that person.

Next time we are in a dialogue with someone dear to ask: “Am I taking them for granted? Am I trying to get points or be witty?  Am I bored?  Do I just want to be heard? Am I really there in mind and spirit?  Is what I have to say more important than what they have to say?”  Probably the answer to some of these questions will be discouraging, but ask them anyway and listen to our answer. It is a struggle to act responsibly and thoughtfully.

I note that both uni-tasking and being a better listener are challenging.  I am definitely a work in progress on both those scores, but trying hard.

Reflection Source: www.Smallercup.org

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*: Travis Bradberry, Ph.D. Multitasking Damages Your Brain and Your Career, 2014 TalentSmart® www.talentsmart.com.